To our recent graduates: Along with all those graduation gifts you received come THANK YOU NOTES!

Our society has become technology-infused, but the hand written thank you note should be written for all gifts, even if you (the graduate) have already thanked someone in person. The hand written note leaves a good impression on your friends and family when you write one.

A friend and junior cotillion director from Oklahoma has devised a clever way for graduates to express their gratitude for gifts they received. It’s an easy system I’d like to share.

4-3-2-1, presto! Your notes are written!

4—minutes it takes to write a thank you note. Not long at all!

3—sentences are adequate to express appreciation, excluding the salutation and signature.
• Line 1—“Thank you for the (gift, name it here). If you received money, don’t mention the amount, but just describe how you plan on spending it. (See Line 2)
• Line 2—Tell how you appreciate the gift and how you will use it. If you don’t love the gift, focus on your gratitude for the gesture.)
• Line 3—Thank them again for the gift and their friendship or relationship to you.

2—days are the best length time to get the note in the mail. You can wait longer, but don’t forget. Etiquette experts say that three days is max!

1—real stamp. Adding an interesting, nostalgic stamp adds a special touch. Most importantly, skip the postage meter!

It’s really that simple!

A few “Did You Knows” for friends who love trivia:

Did you know that Barbara Bush (wife to President Bush, the elder) attended functions all the time as First Lady. After returning home from an event, she wrote a thank you note to the host before she went to bed that evening!

Did you also know that Neil Cavuto (another very busy person) of the Fox Business News organization writes 4-5 thank you notes a day to express gratitude to his co-workers.
If you would like to read a delightful book on how expressing gratitude through writing thank you notes literally changed a person’s life, check out 365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life by John Kralik.

In the entertainment world, there is a well-known phrase people often use when referring to the singer/actor/dancer who stands out head and shoulders above the rest; the person everyone is referring to is known as the ‘triple-threat’. Basically, they can sing, dance AND act…and they do all three REALLY well.

When it comes to doing business, are you bringing the full package to the table? Are you a “triple-threat” in that you REALLY know your industry, you’re ethical AND your soft skills are equally polished? Do you know the rules of etiquette (both social and business) and do you know how and when to use them?

Well hopefully you have the first two areas fairly well established; you are ethical and you REALLY know your industry. Now, let’s look at the third area that will make YOU the absolute, hands-down choice as the “right person” for someone to choose to do business with you, or hire you.

I like to equate manners and etiquette to driving and the rules of the road. There are obvious rules of the road that keep us all safe and going in the right direction. The same thing applies to manners and etiquette, if you know the “rules of the etiquette road”, then you can go into any business situation with the added self-confidence of knowing “what to do” and be able to focus on the business at hand.

Are you doing everything you can to be a “Triple-Threat”?

We’ve all heard the song, “Manic Monday,” by the Bangles:

“It’s just another Manic Monday,
I wish it was Sunday
‘Cause that’s my fun-day
An I-don’t-have-to-run-day,
It’s just another manic Monday”

Monday gets a bad rap as days go, and I’d like to offer you a little help in turning it around.

Join me every Monday as I share a “Manner Monday” tip for you to think about as you get your week started. Manner Monday is for everyone … anyone trying to make a positive impact on their personal environment and the people they come into contact with on a regular basis.

Manner Monday is not a long and arduous process … it consists of little tips (many of which you already know, but may need a gentle reminder) to help keep good manners in focus and in check as you kick off your week.

Here are a few ideas to make the most of Manner Monday:
*Use it as a table topic for mealtime discussion this week.
*Post it on your mirror, in your car, on your computer, or the bulletin board.
*Use it to jump-start your staff meeting.
*Do you drive carpool? Have the kiddos turn off the technology and engage in some dialogue using the tip of the week.

Have fun with it!

I know I’ve been there… In a hurry and after clicking “send” I see a typo, or realize I should have reread the content for clarification.

Email is such a nice convenience, but yet, it also has the ability to cause problems.  Email is black and white. No tone, no personality, no empathy; it’s really difficult to craft an email containing “constructive criticism” and come off smelling like a rose.

I’m thinking Carolyn Bourne is REALLY wishing she would have thought twice before clicking “send” on an email to her future daughter-in-law, Heidi Withers, about what Mrs. Bourne deemed Ms. Withers rude behavior and lack of manners.  Ms. Withers apparently found the email quite entertaining and clicked “forward” to her friends, which snowballed – and in turn has ended up being splattered all over the British news.

Here’s a copy of the email:

It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.

Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you.

It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.

Your behaviour on your visit to Devon [southwestern England] during April was staggering in its uncouthness and lack of grace.

Unfortunately, this was not the first example of bad manners I have experienced from you.

If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste.

There are plenty of finishing schools around. You would be an ideal candidate for the Ladette to Lady television series.

Please, for your own good, for Freddie’s sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

• When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something.
• You do not remark that you do not have enough food.
• You do not start before everyone else.
• You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
• When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.
• You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.
• I have no idea whether you wrote to thank [your future sister-in-law] for the weekend but you should have hand-written a card to her.
• You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed at Houndspool.

[Your future sister-in-law] has quite the most exquisite manners of anyone I have ever come across. You would do well to follow her example.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.

It is tragic that you have diabetes. However, you aren’t the only young person in the world who is a diabetic.

I know quite a few young people who have this condition, one of whom is getting married in June. I have never heard her discuss her condition.

She quietly gets on with it. She doesn’t like being diabetic. Who would? You do not need to regale everyone with the details of your condition or use it as an excuse to draw attention to yourself. It is vulgar.

As a diabetic of long standing you must be acutely aware of the need to prepare yourself for extraordinary eventualities, the walk to Mothecombe beach being an example.

You are experienced enough to have prepared yourself appropriately.

No-one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters’ marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.

“Oh my” is the only thing that I can think of to say other than… think twice before clicking “send”.

This is one email gaffe that is going to be remarkably difficult to recover from and will take some fancy footwork, apologies and forgiveness to repair numerous relationships.

WOW!

Do you have a ‘manner’ you would like to see covered on Manner Monday?  Feel free to send me your thoughts.

And, of course, please share ‘Manner Monday’ with your friends and colleagues.

Have a great week!